Are You at Cause or at Effect

by Jennifer Elliott on February 24, 2011

Are You at Cause or at Effect – What it means to be responsible

People are being dictated to right now and they don’t like it!

In the world, ordinary people are being dictated to because they have allowed someone else or something else to make decisions for them. Abdicating on their right to be responsible may have occurred in the recent past or a long time ago; either way they chose not to take action when action was required.

Whichever it is, our inability to be responsible will dictate our future.

The executive or manager who doesn’t make a call on an employee who is not performing, the person who allows their credit card to get out of control, , the parent who won’t give their child boundaries, the manager who keeps doing everyone else’s work and the list goes on.

Allow me share a lesson I learned years ago and frustratingly have had to revisit a number of times. For those who know me they may shake their heads and be somewhat disbelieving. I have a reputation now for being a straight talker – only in certain circumstances! Those who know me will attest to that. I can tell you where I will make a hard call fast but oh boy – I sure don’t like admitting where I can’t, for me it is around my family I have a lot of excuses and justifications  for not saying what I need to say. Rambling here won’t change the fact that my silence has caused me and them needless pain. I am in that moment at the effect of the circumstances instead of at its cause!

The question I have for you is where is your pain right now, what have you not said what action have you not taken, what decision are you procrastinating on!

I remember this quote and I believe it is attributed to General Patton,
‘EITHER TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OR TAKE ORDERS’.

In the financial world, we are taking orders because we live with the rules of an economic game that are inherently invalid! We cannot expect to continue to get something for nothing; the reason for the establishment of stocks has been totally lost in the quest for greed and something for nothing. Check this documentary out and find out what is really happening

I am surprised at how many people don’t get what it means to be responsible.  I was with a client recently and we were discussing an incident in their business and I asked the question, ‘So, how did you cause that to happen’ – they looked at me blankly and said, ‘I have nothing to do with it!’

Oops!

They just missed it!  We are either at the cause of our lives and what happens around us or we are at the effect. After a lengthy discussion he became almost evangelical and wanted to share his epiphany with everyone. It was a tough lesson and one that has cost him, time, energy and money.

We have a saying here at Integrity and Values.Com about being responsible you may want to write this down and meditate on it, many time people say to me I don’t understand after I give it to them. I get them to read it out loud and keep reading it long after their time with us until they get it. In fact I had a young man who we were coaching ring after a few years and say ‘I GOT IT’ so are you wondering what this statement is it goes like this:

‘If I am willing to be responsible for the smallest atom in the farthest reaches of our galaxy, then what I do here and now would be different.’

Notice where your mind goes as you read that statement.

Do you start arguing with it?

Or do you get it!

In every moment of NOW we are responsible for our response to our circumstances only then do we have power over them.

When we live inside a story of blame and recriminations we are at the effect of our circumstances when we chose to ‘cause’ our occurring world we move into a place of FREEDOM and we chose our response.

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ARE YOU COACHING, PERFORMANCE MANAGING OR MENTORING?

by Jennifer Elliott on February 8, 2011

I received some really good information yesterday from a friend and fellow CEO Peter Mollan. At the conclusion of our conversation I went away with some very clear advice. Which I implemented today because it made sense and will it would make a big difference to the success of my business.

As you know things come in waves and as I was talking to Angie Speteri today who is from Perth, we ended up talking about this subject. What we talked of was the phenomenon of ‘internal coaching’ and how in large organisations such as the one she worked within they called this coaching however it was actually performance management.  She found that the problem children were often put on her team so she could ‘coach’ them. Angie realised only after she had completed a coaching course that what she had been doing was performance management.

So, after those two interactions I started to ask myself – did my friend Peter coach me, mentor me or performance manage me. One he is not my boss so I can knock out performance management, he is not my coach we do not have a formal arrangement. He was mentoring me from his observations and his vast experience he gave me some very good advice, what I did with it was up to me.

So what is the difference and how do you know when you are being coached, when you are being performance managed or when what you need is a mentor someone who has been there and done that.

Here are 4 points that make these activities different:

THE COACH THE PERFORMANCE MANAGER THE MENTOR
Is and external provider and has no attachment to results other than they are committed to you and your success. Relationship is for a set period of time Is internal and will most times be your boss or an appointed HR coach. Has a defined time period On-going relationship that can last for a long period of time
The coachee responsible for implementation of new learning – personal responsibility. Meetings are scheduled in advance Day to day, with frequent feedback with accountability measures in place. With very clear expectations. Interaction could take place formally and informally Can be more informal and meetings can take place as and when the mentee needs some advice, guidance or support. The mentee is responsible for taking action
It is non-directive or prescriptive and has the coachee do the thinking that is required for them to move forward. The coach’s role is to challenge the thinking of the coachee and stretch their horizons. They are the question asker. Highly directive with a clear agenda measures will have a ‘by when’ with a ‘if not’ consequences. Is non-directive, advice is given if not acted on the mentor may or may not wish to continue. No mentor likes to give their time and expertise and for it to be ignored
Coaching activities have both organisational and individual goals. The coach has a very broad set of issues that may be discussed. The performance manger focus is on the organisational goal. Mentor is more experienced and qualified than the ‘mentee’ in the area that the ‘mentee’ requires advice. Who can pass on knowledge, experience and open doors to otherwise out-of-reach opportunities

After doing this thinking I realised something in my own business, because I am a coach so I seem to have coaching conversations with my team. When in fact I am supposed to be performance managing them.

We would produce better results if I did my job and drove the result I truly want for my business.

So, have you got your role confused like me and muddied the water?

Clarity leads to power just doing this exercise has given me more power to act on the things I need to act on in my business.

Thank you Peter and Angie for making me think!

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Leaders Are Willing To Work On Themselves

November 29, 2010

Last week I spoke to an amazing group of powerful women in Canberra. I told them that we were the key to the changes that need to take place in the world socially, economically and emotionally. And that to do that we need to work on ourselves and become very clear of our impact on [...]

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Honour

November 19, 2010

Throughout history the virtue of Honour has inspired legendary feats of courage and elegant literature.  Yet I don’t recall hearing the word even once in my 5 years working with Melbourne business.
Honour is the driving force behind loyalty, respect and heroic effort. Doesn’t that sound like the culture you’d want in your business?  Without Honour [...]

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Primal games in the workplace

November 16, 2010

Have you noticed that there is a smooth surface in organisations. What you see are people being polite to each other in meetings and the corridors. What is really going on? How come so much of the time organizations fall short of the goals they have set themselves. Why is this? Is incompetence that widespread, [...]

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Decoding the wiring of males and females

November 11, 2010

Organisations are being pressured to put men and women together in teams. It’s a great idea the issue is we seem to be oblivious to the impact of our differences I think it’s the main reason this great idea has not got much traction. I have heard and believe that the strength of great teams [...]

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The most powerful and impactful Poem I have ever learned.

December 7, 2009

In my opinion this poem is one of the most powerful and impactful I have ever learned.
Every time I am thinking about making a decision I am reminded of this poem and the magic that comes from my commitment. Most time there is no real evidence that a decision or a commitment will work and yet that [...]

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Leaders are Drowning, not Waving

October 13, 2009

Leadership is always important and yet not urgent until there is a crisis.
This article was inspired by an article in Human Capital Magazine
Inspired by an article – Leaders are drowning, not waving:
In The Human Capital Magazine
We have a huge convergence crisis on us at the moment. Developing leadership skills has been neglected by the majority [...]

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The Only Cultural Transformation Program That I have Ever Seen Work.

July 11, 2009

The Only Cultural Transformation Program That I have Ever Seen Work.
Last Monday I had the great pleasure of sitting down with two committed and powerful women representing a large international company in their Sydney office. My wonderful PA Melinda took their call two weeks earlier and arranged the appointment. She said, “I think you should [...]

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Clarity Leads To Power

July 6, 2009

Clarity Leads To Power
Driving along in the car a few days ago I was abruptly stopped by an absolute emergency. Not a car crash, a police road block or even a tree across the road. In fact there was no one and nothing on the road in front of me at the time and yet [...]

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